1 twilight暮色-第11章

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seat　and　he　was　perched　on　my　desk。　As　always；　I　was　electrically　aware　
of　Edward　sitting　close　enough　to　touch；　as　distant　as　if　he　were　merely　
an　invention　of　my　imagination。　

〃So；〃　Mike　said；　looking　at　the　floor；　〃Jessica　asked　me　to　the　spring　
dance。〃　

〃That's　great。〃　I　made　my　voice　bright　and　enthusiastic。　〃You'll　have　a　
lot　of　fun　with　Jessica。〃　

〃Well…〃　He　floundered　as　he　examined　my　smile；　clearly　not　happy　with　my　
response。　〃I　told　her　I　had　to　think　about　it。〃　

〃Why　would　you　do　that？〃　I　let　disapproval　color　my　tone；　though　I　was　
relieved　he　hadn't　given　her　an　absolute　no。　

His　face　was　bright　red　as　he　looked　down　again。　Pity　shook　my　resolve。　

〃I　was　wondering　if…　well；　if　you　might　be　planning　to　ask　me。〃　

I　paused　for　a　moment；　hating　the　wave　of　guilt　that　swept　through　me。　
But　I　saw；　from　the　corner　of　my　eye；　Edward's　head　tilt　reflexively　in　
my　direction。　

〃Mike；　I　think　you　should　tell　her　yes；〃　I　said。　

〃Did　you　already　ask　someone？〃　Did　Edward　notice　how　Mike's　eyes　
flickered　in　his　direction？　

〃No；〃　I　assured　him。　〃I'm　not　going　to　the　dance　at　all。〃　

〃Why　not？〃　Mike　demanded。　

I　didn't　want　to　get　into　the　safety　hazards　that　dancing　presented；　so　I　
quickly　made　new　plans。　

〃I'm　going　to　Seattle　that　Saturday；〃　I　explained。　I　needed　to　get　out　of　
town　anyway　—　it　was　suddenly　the　perfect　time　to　go。　

〃Can't　you　go　some　other　weekend？〃　

〃Sorry；　no；〃　I　said。　〃So　you　shouldn't　make　Jess　wait　any　longer　—　it's　
rude。〃　

〃Yeah；　you're　right；〃　he　mumbled；　and　turned；　dejected；　to　walk　back　to　
his　seat。　I　closed　my　eyes　and　pressed　my　fingers　to　my　temples；　trying　
to　push　the　guilt　and　sympathy　out　of　my　head。　Mr。　Banner　began　talking。　
I　sighed　and　opened　my　eyes。　

And　Edward　was　staring　at　me　curiously；　that　same；　familiar　edge　of　
frustration　even　more　distinct　now　in　his　black　eyes。　

I　stared　back；　surprised；　expecting　him　to　look　quickly　away。　But　instead　
he　continued　to　gaze　with　probing　intensity　into　my　eyes。　There　was　no　
question　of　me　looking　away。　My　hands　started　to　shake。　

〃Mr。　Cullen？〃　the　teacher　called；　seeking　the　answer　to　a　question　that　I　
hadn't　heard。　

〃The　Krebs　Cycle；〃　Edward　answered；　seeming　reluctant　as　he　turned　to　
look　at　Mr。　Banner。　

I　looked　down　at　my　book　as　soon　as　his　eyes　released　me；　trying　to　find　
my　place。　Cowardly　as　ever；　I　shifted　my　hair　over　my　right　shoulder　to　
hide　my　face。　I　couldn't　believe　the　rush　of　emotion　pulsing　through　me　—　
just　because　he'd　happened　to　look　at　me　for　the　first　time　in　a　
halfdozen　weeks。　I　couldn't　allow　him　to　have　this　level　of　influence　
over　me。　It　was　pathetic。　More　than　pathetic；　it　was　unhealthy。　

I　tried　very　hard　not　to　be　aware　of　him　for　the　rest　of　the　hour；　and；　
since　that　was　impossible；　at　least　not　to　let　him　know　that　I　was　aware　
of　him。　When　the　bell　rang　at　last；　I　turned　my　back　to　him　to　gather　my　
things；　expecting　him　to　leave　immediately　as　usual。　

〃Bella？〃　His　voice　shouldn't　have　been　so　familiar　to　me；　as　if　I'd　known　
the　sound　of　it　all　my　life　rather　than　for　just　a　few　short　weeks。　

I　turned　slowly；　unwillingly。　I　didn't　want　to　feel　what　I　knew　I　would　
feel　when　I　looked　at　his　tooperfect　face。　My　expression　was　wary　when　I　
finally　turned　to　him；　his　expression　was　unreadable。　He　didn't　say　
anything。　

〃What？　Are　you　speaking　to　me　again？〃　I　finally　asked；　an　unintentional　
note　of　petulance　in　my　voice。　

His　lips　twitched；　fighting　a　smile。　〃No；　not　really；〃　he　admitted。　

I　closed　my　eyes　and　inhaled　slowly　through　my　nose；　aware　that　I　was　
gritting　my　teeth。　He　waited。　

〃Then　what　do　you　want；　Edward？〃　I　asked；　keeping　my　eyes　closed；　it　was　
easier　to　talk　to　him　coherently　that　way。　

〃I'm　sorry。〃　He　sounded　sincere。　〃I'm　being　very　rude；　I　know。　But　it's　
better　this　way；　really。〃　

I　opened　my　eyes。　His　face　was　very　serious。　

〃I　don't　know　what　you　mean；〃　I　said；　my　voice　guarded。　

〃It's　better　if　we're　not　friends；〃　he　explained。　〃Trust　me。〃　

My　eyes　narrowed。　I'd　heard　that　before。　

〃It's　too　bad　you　didn't　figure　that　out　earlier；〃　I　hissed　through　my　
teeth。　〃You　could　have　saved　yourself　all　this　regret。〃　

〃Regret？〃　The　word；　and　my　tone；　obviously　caught　him　off　guard。　〃Regret　
for　what？〃　

〃For　not　just　letting　that　stupid　van　squish　me。〃　

He　was　astonished。　He　stared　at　me　in　disbelief。　

When　he　finally　spoke；　he　almost　sounded　mad。　〃You　think　I　regret　saving　
your　life？〃　

〃I　know　you　do；〃　I　snapped。　

〃You　don't　know　anything。〃　He　was　definitely　mad。　

I　turned　my　head　sharply　away　from　him；　clenching　my　jaw　against　all　the　
wild　accusations　I　wanted　to　hurl　at　him。　I　gathered　my　books　together；　
then　stood　and　walked　to　the　door。　I　meant　to　sweep　dramatically　out　of　
the　room；　but　of　course　I　caught　the　toe　of　my　boot　on　the　door　jamb　and　
dropped　my　books。　I　stood　there　for　a　moment；　thinking　about　leaving　
them。　Then　I　sighed　and　bent　to　pick　them　up。　He　was　there；　he'd　already　
stacked　them　into　a　pile。　He　handed　them　to　me；　his　face　hard。　

〃Thank　you；〃　I　said　icily。　

His　eyes　narrowed。　

〃You're　wele；〃　he　retorted。　

I　straightened　up　swiftly；　turned　away　from　him　again；　and　stalked　off　to　
Gym　without　looking　back。　

Gym　was　brutal。　We'd　moved　on　to　basketball。　My　team　never　passed　me　the　
ball；　so　that　was　good；　but　I　fell　down　a　lot。　Sometimes　I　took　people　
with　me。　Today　I　was　worse　than　usual　because　my　head　was　so　filled　with　
Edward。　I　tried　to　concentrate　on　my　feet；　but　he　kept　creeping　back　into　
my　thoughts　just　when　I　really　needed　my　balance。　

It　was　a　relief；　as　always；　to　leave。　I　almost　ran　to　the　truck；　there　
were　just　so　many　people　I　wanted　to　avoid。　The　truck　had　suffered　only　
minimal　damage　in　the　accident。　I'd　had　to　replace　the　taillights；　and　if　
I'd　had　a　real　paint　job；　I　would　have　touched　that　up。　Tyler's　parents　
had　to　sell　their　van　for　parts。　

I　almost　had　a　stroke　when　I　rounded　the　corner　and　saw　a　tall；　dark　
figure　leaning　against　the　side　of　my　truck。　Then　I　realized　it　was　just　
Eric。　I　started　walking　again。　

〃Hey；　Eric；〃　I　called。　

〃Hi；　Bella。〃　

〃What's　up？〃　I　said　as　I　was　unlocking　the　door。　I　wasn't　paying　
attention　to　the　unfortable　edge　in　his　voice；　so　his　next　words　took　
me　by　surprise。　

〃Uh；　I　was　just　wondering…　if　you　would　go　to　the　spring　dance　with　me？〃　
His　voice　broke　on　the　last　word。　

〃I　thought　it　was　girls'　choice；〃　I　said；　too　startled　to　be　diplomatic。　

〃Well；　yeah；〃　he　admitted；　shamefaced。　

I　recovered　my　posure　and　tried　to　make　my　smile　warm。　〃Thank　you　for　
asking　me；　but　I'm　going　to　be　in　Seattle　that　day。〃　

〃Oh；〃　he　said。　〃Well；　maybe　next　time。〃　

〃Sure；〃　I　agreed；　and　then　bit　my　lip。　I　wouldn't　want　him　to　take　that　
too　literally。　

He　slouched　off；　back　toward　the　school。　I　heard　a　low　chuckle。　

Edward　was　walking　past　the　front　of　my　truck；　looking　straight　forward；　
his　lips　pressed　together。　I　yanked　the　door　open　and　jumped　inside；　
slamming　it　loudly　behind　me。　I　revved　the　engine　deafeningly　and　
reversed　out　into　the　aisle。　Edward　was　in　his　car　already；　two　spaces　
down；　sliding　out　smoothly　in　front　of　me；　cutting　me　off。　He　stopped　
there　—　to　wait　for　his　family；　I　could　see　the　four　of　them　walking　this　
way；　but　still　by　the　cafeteria。　I　considered　taking　out　the　rear　of　his　
shiny　Volvo；　but　there　were　too　many　witnesses。　I　looked　in　my　rearview　
mirror。　A　line　was　beginning　to　form。　Directly　behind　me；　Tyler　Crowley　
was　in　his　recently　acquired　used　Sentra；　waving。　I　was　too　aggravated　to　
acknowledge　him。　

While　I　was　sitting　there；　looking　everywhere　but　at　the　car　in　front　of　
me；　I　heard　a　knock　on　my　passenger　side　window。　I　looked　over；　it　was　
Tyler。　I　glanced　back　in　my　rearview　mirror；　confused。　His　car　was　still　
running；　the　door　left　open。　I　leaned　across　the　cab　to　crank　the　window　
down。　It　was　stiff。　I　got　it　halfway　down；　then　gave　up。　

〃I'm　sorry；　Tyler；　I'm　stuck　behind　Cullen。〃　I　was　annoyed　—　obviously　
the　holdup　wasn't　my　fault。　

〃Oh；　I　know　—　I　just　wanted　to　ask　you　something　while　we're　trapped　
here。〃　He　grinned。　

This　could　not　be　happening。　

〃Will　you　ask　me　to　the　spring　dance？〃　he　continued。　

〃I'm　not　going　to　be　in　town；　Tyler。〃　My　voice　sounded　a　little　sharp。　I　
had　to　remember　it　wasn't　his　fault　that　Mike　and　Eric　had　already　used　
up　my　quota　of　patience　for　the　day。　

〃Yeah；　Mike　said　that；〃　he　admitted。　

〃Then　why　—〃　

He　shrugged。　〃I　was　hoping　you　were　just　letting　him　down　easy。〃　

Okay；　it　was　pletely　his　fault。　

〃Sorry；　Tyler；〃　I　said；　working　to　hide　my　irritation。　〃I　really　am　going　
out　of　town。〃　

〃That's　cool。　We　still　have　prom。〃　

And　before　I　could　respond；　he　was　walking　back　to　his　car。　I　could　feel　
the　shock　on　my　face。　I　looked　forward　to　see　Alice；　Rosalie；　Emmett；　and　
Jasper　all　sliding　into　the　Volvo。　In　his　rearview　mirror；　Edward's　eyes　
were　on　me。　He　was　unquestionably　shaking　with　laughter；　as　if　he'd　heard　
every　word　Tyler　had　said。　My　foot　itched　toward　the　gas　pedal…　one　
little　bump　wouldn't　hurt　any　of　them；　just　that　glossy　silver　paint　job。　
I　revved　the　engine。　

But　they　were　all　in；　and　Edward　was　speeding　away。　I　drove　home　slowly；　
carefully；　muttering　to　myself　the　whole　way。　

When　I　got　home；　I　decided　to　make　chicken　enchiladas　for　dinner。　It　was　
a　long　process；　and　it　would　keep　me　busy。　While　I　was　simmering　the　
onions　and　chilies；　the　phone　rang。　I　was　almost　afraid　to　answer　it；　but　
it　might　be　Charlie　or　my　mom。　

It　was　Jessica；　and　she　was　jubilant；　Mike　had　caught　her　after　school　to　
accept　her　invitation。　I　celebrated　with　her　briefly　while　I　stirred。　She　
had　to　go；　she　wanted　to　call　Angela　and　Lauren　to　tell　them。　I　suggested　
—　with　casual　innocence　—　that　maybe　Angela；　the　shy　girl　who　had　Biology　

with　me；　could　ask　Eric。　And　Lauren；　a　standoffish　girl　who　had　always　
ignored　me　at　the　lunch　table；　could　ask　Tyler；　I'd　heard　he　was　still　
available。　Jess　thought　that　was　a　great　idea。　Now　that　she　was　sure　of　
Mike；　she　actually　sounded　sincere　when　she　said　she　wish